how to get back to reality
The internet is rewiring your attention span — here’s how to reclaim it.
Let me start with a confession:
I always have Do Not Disturb on. Not because I hate people, but because I know how precious — and fragile — my attention really is.
If I’m deep in creative work, the last thing I need is a pop-up message pulling me into a completely different world. One notification doesn’t just cost me a second — it often takes me out of flow entirely. My sister and partner hate it (sorry), so I recently compromised by allowing just a few people to break through my DND fortress.
The truth is: My brain wasn’t built for this much noise. Neither was yours.
And lately, I’ve been thinking more deeply about what the internet — especially our phones — are doing to our attention spans. Why it’s harder to focus. Why we bounce between 10 tabs and still feel behind. Why we can’t even watch a movie without checking our notifications.
So let’s talk about what’s happening in your brain, why it’s not your fault, and how to take back your mind in a way that feels good.
What’s actually going on in your brain
This isn’t about you being lazy, unfocused, or addicted. It’s about your brain doing what is was designed to do — adapt.
1. Your brain loves dopamine (maybe a little too much)
Every notification, like, scroll, or “next video” gives you a little hit of dopamine — the chemical that drives seeking, not satisfaction. This is why we scroll without even realising it. Your brain is chasing another hit, not looking to stop.
What helped me: Getting clear on the type of content I consume. Instagram and Tiktok often leave me overstimulated and drained, while Pinterest and YouTube actually inspire me — they spark creativity, ideas, and a sense of possibility. Realising that not all screen time is equal has helped me make better choices.
2. Multitasking = brain burnout
Even if it feels like you’re doing five things at once, your brain is just rapidly switching between tasks — and each switch drains mental energy. This is way you might feel exhausted after a day of “not doing much”.
It’s not a productivity issue. It’s cognitive overload.
What helped me: Creating dedicated focus windows. When I’m working, everything goes quiet (hello again, DND). I batch my messages and calls into specific times — because replying on my timeline helps me feel present and grounded, not reactive.
3. You’re filling your brain’s “RAM” to the max
Your working memory — your brain’s short-term info storage — is limited. When you overload it with constant inputs (texts, videos, notifications, multitasking), you crowd out your ability to think clearly, remember things, or stay present.
Ever walk into a room and forget why? Yep. Same.
4. You’re losing quiet — and with it, creativity
There’s a part of your brain called the default mode network (DMN) that only activates when you’re not consuming. It lights up when you’re resting, daydreaming, walking, or staring out the window.
This is where deep ideas, creative connections, and self-reflection happen. But if we never unplug our DMN doesn’t get to do its thing.
What helped me: Bored walks. No music. No podcasts. Just me and my mind. I resisted at first, but now I crave that stillness. It’s like giving my brain a chance to breathe.
So how do you reclaim your attention?
Here’s the good news: your brain is neuroplastic, meaning it can rewire itself with intentional habits.
Now, I don’t just want you to tell you to “get offline and touch grass” because frankly, that is not very helpful advice. And we promised you that this AMII safe space would be providing actionable support for your daily life.
So here are five gentle, practical shifts I recommend (and actually use myself):
1. Create tech-free zones (especially in your bedroom, if it’s separate from your living and working area)
My bedroom is a technology-free sanctuary. No phone. No laptop. No screens.
I leave my phone charging in the living room overnight, and when my alarm goes off, I physically have to get out of bed to turn it off.
It’s a small act, but it changes everything. Mornings feel slower. My thoughts feel like my own. I’m not starting the day already reacting to everyone else’s world.
Try this: Keep your phone out of the bedroom for one week. See what changes.
2. Curate, don’t just consume
Audit your apps:
which ones inspire you?
which ones drain you?
which ones help you grow?
which just pass the time?
Then:
move “bad habit” apps off your home screen
log out after each session
bookmark creators and content you actually want to engage with
For me, Pinterest and YouTube spark my creativity, while being on Instagram and Tiktok often become a mindless scroll. That clarity alone helped me take control. Well, and the fact that my Instagram was hacked in the beginning of the year, so I just didn’t have access and was finally forced into a digital detox.
You can also use technology to use less technology — there are settings and apps that prevent you from using certain websites or put a time limit on your usage.
3. Replace distraction with intention
We often use social media consumption to “relax” — but is it really having that effect? Do you actually feel relaxed afterwards? I don’t, most of the time.
Instead of mindless scrolling, replace it with something nourishing:
a short walk
journaling
reading a few pages of a book
playing (literally, board games)
even a deep breath and a stretch
Build the muscle of choosing your input, instead of reacting to it.
4. Go analog (even just a little)
Try writing your to-do list on paper. Journal with an actual pen. Read a physical book. It slows the mind and gives your nervous system a break from screen-glow buzz.
I try to start and end my day without screens, and it’s helped me reset my nervous system. There’s something sacred about choosing silence in a noisy world.
“Slow maxxing” has also been a refreshing new Tiktok trend, reminding people to slow down. If you look it up, you might find examples for activities that help you do so.
5. Practice response over reactivity
Let messages sit for a bit. Don’t feel like you have to answer everything right away. It’s oaky to reply when you’ve had time to think.
This small boundary changed my relationship with my phone — and my sense of self.
Final thoughts from the safe space
You don’t need to move to the woods or throw your phone in the ocean. But you do deserve an attention span that feels like yours — not something hijacked by an algorithm.
Start small. Be kind to yourself. You’re not behind. Your brain is just adapting to the world it was thrown into.
And you can help it come home again.
With love (and DND still on),
Agascha
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